No rest for the laundress

I vowed I would not go to bed tonight until the heinous mess of laundry in our basement was sorted, folded, and delivered to its proper owners/drawers.  It has been such a couple of weeks, that laundry hasn't had a regular "pace" for some time.

Now it is 11:15 and the only thing that equals my fatigue is my frustrations with the state of our home.  Floors are crying out for vacuuming and sweeping. Walls and doorframes need wiping, and my shower hasn't been scoured in more than a month. The library is messy, dusty, and out of order.






My mind drifts forward to homeschooling? Can I do this? Almost every article I read about homeschooling declares that the path of homeschooling demands a you happily embrace a less than tidy home--littered with projects and schoolwork.

Uh-oh.

I don't do chaos.

Can I buck that trend and have an organized homeschool? Can I homeschool my kids without popsicle stick projects and glitter?

For now, I can't tackle that. For now, I have to get up tomorrow, run 3 miles, teach Spanish, and just wipe as many doorframes as I can.  We will survive to the end of the year. . . even if my shower doesn't get scrubbed until June.

Make Me Glow

Stones don't glow.

They sit and wait.

But something can stir within.

If the cause is right,

If the need is there.

They find the courage to win.

A boat command.

A challenge bestowed.

A race that needs to be run.

The road ahead has hills and valleys.

I see them looming beyond.

I am a stone that needs to glow.

So I bring myself to the One.

My body. My mind. My will. 

I lay them at His feet.

He asks me what I want from Him.

A touch is all I need.

Inspired (and written far too quickly to be counted as poetry) by this scripture story

Of mindsets and mediocrity

So, I've been reading this here book for school:  

It is really interesting stuff--and painfully insightful. The author discusses two main types of mindsets: Fixed and Growth.  I haven't finished it yet, but here's the gist so far:

The fixed mindset (raising my hand here) is a mindset that wraps worth up in accomplishments, and thinks that true value is only notable if it comes naturally, easily, and without effort or critique.

The growth mindset seizes the challenge, embraces failure as a learning opportunity, and believes that change is always possible. It values work more than natural talent.

Ouch.

I've always tended to stick with things that come naturally.  I read quickly and run slow. So, I'll take on trivia games but refuse to race Daman to the car. Daman is a fantastically growth minded guy. He doesn't understand why I don't want to race him. I don't understand why I would participate in something I have NO chance of winning. (I am fully aware that I have regularly entered races with thousands of people and about 90% of them beat me, but there was that old lady in the walker that I totally smoked.)

Here's an example of Daman's growth goodness: He challenged me to an online trivia game. I've destroyed him seven times. And he just keeps coming! He thinks it is fun. He can enjoy it, even when losing.

What?

I would have grunted and quit long ago.

But, here's the key premise of this book.

Mindsets can change.

When I catch myself berating myself for a shortcoming, I mentally slap my wrist and embrace it as a chance to grow.  The past is in my behind. . . as Pumba would say.  I can grow. I can change.

But, it ain't easy.

For example, I have this lofty dreams of earning a wage as a writer.

But, I don't write.

I think about writing. I daydream about what a good writer I'll be and how lovely my view will be of my sprawling farm as I peck out another article/story/play/whatever.

But, I don't write.

Why?  Fear of failure. Fear of the work. Fear of the criticism that I will have to listen to if I want to get better.

Fear is fixed.

Growth is good.

So, bring on the critiques. I will listen and roll with them. But, I won't let them define me---especially the ones inside my head.