Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A Duggar Shout Out

The Duggar family is on to baby #20.

Amidst all the naysayers that blame them for draining the world's resources (right) or hastening the crisis of overpopulation (have they seen Wyoming?) I would like to raise my voice with a hearty congratulations and digital high five.

Here's why:

I've seen the show a few times. It is usually on when I'm on the treadmill in the wee hours of the morning. And I think that what that family is contributing to the world is pretty darn amazing. They have high standards, lots of love, and I am convinced a deep faith in God. They are debt free, buy used clothes, and grow their own vegetables. My guess is, they probably consume less than many smaller, more selfish families who eat out of reheatable containers and buy a new cell phone every three weeks. Watching them has reminded me of the precious gift it is to have children. It also makes me miss my homeschooling days. I feel like this teaching job is making me a better mother. It is teaching me the power of consistency and the importance of planning.
Blessings are rolling in and I am grateful. Every day our family gets better at our routines every day. We are almost finished reading The Book of Mormon as a family and plan on starting over as soon as we finish, as well as reading the New Testament together next year. Bumps are frequent and schedulign is complicated, but all in all I am feeling an growing sense of unity and it is really lovely.
I believe that there is a great power in unity. God and Jesus Christ are united perfectly and all good things in the universe come from that companionship. God has promised us miracles if we unite in prayer. I'm willling to tap into that.
Today is my birthday. And I am very blessed. I improved my running time this morning by 35 seconds, am seeing the scale move in a good direction for the first time in many moons, have a husband that supports me, and children that teach me every day. I know God lives and I believe in His love. I feel Him lifting me and His patience helps me be patient with myself. And this rambling post . . . .

So, way to go Duggars. Share the light. And I'll try to do the same. (but not with the 20 kids part)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Poem of Patience. . . of sorts.

It takes time.

There are many things
in this world of rush
that push and sprint.

We see what we want
to become
to have
to do.

And waiting seems too much.

The wait. it seems
unfair. And we think it
shows weakness
in us
or God.

But maybe it is just time.
Time that will pass anyway.
Time to heal.
Time to grow.
Time to reap.
Time to sow.

It all takes time.
And in the time we give to growth.
A funny thing happens.

We grow.

And if we don't resent the pace
we can enjoy the race
to miracles that we want.
IF we are willing to accept that
roads worth travelling are sometimes bumpy
and often long.

But at the end there is a prize
and that prize

is the us we want to become.

I haven't written poetry in a very long time. And perhaps this barely qualifies as poetry. But, it is what came out this morning.

I want so many things to happen so quickly. I must learn to wait. It took me a year to lose track of myself and get my body to this place. It won't go back in a week. I want my hair to be long again. This takes time too. I find myself willing to wait for that, because there isn't any blame in that kind of growth. Well, perhaps I should take the blame out of the other areas of growth I need as well. All growth takes time. As do all things truly beautiful.

I will try to give myself some time.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


There are many people in this world who will live good, productive lives never knowing what a PRAXIS test is. I am not one of them.
The Spanish Praxis test has loomed over me for months. When I stumbled into this Spanish teaching gig the only credential I had was a letter from my mission president. That didn't quite cut it. So, I had to take this big mama Praxis test designed for Spanish majors to prove I could teach Freshman how to describe a day at the beach in Spanish.
And I had two months to get ready for it. All while juggling "single" momhood, starting a new teaching job, and putting my kids in childcare for the first time ever. It has been a monumentally tough few months.
But, praise the Lord (and I do), I passed. I passed! I didn't crumble. I didn't surrender. I didn't fail. I passed! I can get a real salary now. We can move out of my Mom's house. I can move on. I passed. It is a miracle, believe me. That test was incredibly difficult. But God opened my mind and gave me merciful graders.
God parts red seas, He raises the dead, He brings down walls with nothing but shouts of faith. And He helped one tired, strained mom pass a very difficult test. That's a sparrow moment. He truly sees each one of us.
I am so grateful He sees me.