Wednesday, January 19, 2011

So Many Thoughts. . . So Little Time

I sat down today to make some small bean bags for my kids. A sprained ankle drove me to think of productive ways to stay off my feet. I find that I can either be productive or neat. If I try to do projects, our small apartment will spin into a toy-strewn chaotic mess in short order. Or, I can actively play/clean with my kids and the house will look great and my to-do list remains untouched. Today, I chose productive. One hour later, the house smelled of burnt wheat when Isaac tried to see if his bean bag would work as a heating pad. It didn't. I had nine adorably flawed bean bags, and a flurry of wheat on the floor hanging out with half my kids' toys. But the bean bags were really cute. I hope my kids like them more than the 15 toys I am giving to Goodwill because they didn't get them cleaned up in time.

I'm not really sure if anyone reads this blog. I have hearty ambitions to be read regularly, to write essays that cause nods of agreement in front of computer screens everywhere. But, I'm not sure if I'm on that road. A friend recently told me that she went to a workshop where the lady said it takes 2-3 years of regular blogging to develop a readership. I'm in. I think it will take me that long to figure out what the heck I want to write about. I definitely want a place to gather my stories, garner feedback, and stun some wandering publisher looking for the next great children's book. "Holy Cow!" they'll say. "What a friggin' goldmine!" (Because that is how wandering, philanthropic publishers talk.) But, what else?? Here are my ideas. If I do have anyone reading out there, would you please chime in with a vote on what you want most to nod your head to?

Option A: Personal revelations on how motherhood is a lengthy, but very personalized, tutoring session with God and how He works/thinks/loves and patiently lets us stumble along, determined to do it ourselves (like a certain 2 year old I know)

Option B: Thoughts about my weight loss journey and my quest this year to stop eating sugar and embrace life instead of chocolate. . . I am determined to believe this is possible.

Option B 1/2: Regular updates on my progress to losing 20 pounds by Memorial Day. Is that really interesting to anyone else?

Option C: Random revelations and nuggets of truth I learn from scripture study, prayer, and pondering.

Option D: All of the above.

Perhaps it will continue to be a random assortment--remember what Forrest Gump said about life and boxes of chocolate--but it might be nice to have a more set purpose to this writing project of a blog, and then diverge at will.

If you have a vote, please cast it. I'll be here for 2-3 years.


  1. i read you all the time. i think the more you try to write for an audience, the less it feels real. that's just my observations after 3-4 years of (relatively) consistent blogging. when i write what's true for me in my moment, whatever that might be, i am more successful in many ways.

    but that's just my longwinded way of saying--write about all of it, because all of it is who you are.

  2. Thanks Carrie. . very wise. I think that is exactly what I do. I think I worry too much about whether my writing "matters" or not. I think I'll just assume it does.

  3. I vote for a hodge podge! :)

  4. I vote for all of the above. Because I enjoy your writing style and read what you post (whenever my blogger thingie tells me you've updated).

    Since I'm currently struggling with self acceptance and weight loss issues I tend to lean in the direction of wanting to read more about your personal journey in those areas (But I recognize that you have a lot of other valid things to say in many other areas as well!)

  5. I'll read whatever you decide to write. It all sounds interesting to me! =)

  6. Oh also, I like how you divided up your stories in the sidebar by age and your posts by topic. Makes it easy to flip back to old posts with a purpose.

  7. I love reading it all because sometimes it's so raw with emotions of the very exact things I'm dealing with too that tears fall freely down my cheeks. If I had to "direct you" I'd say I struggle with motherhood and self acceptance so that's what hits me hardest. Weight has not been my personal mental struggle but your words cross the boundaries of all types of self acceptance and for me it's "I'm not pretty enough." Never have been, never will. Just gotta love the body I got. So please, write it all.